Over the past few days, I had the flu. At one point my temperature reached 103* and I dreamed I was a member of the cast of “Footloose”. I was tired, coughing, and stayed in my pajamas from Thursday night – Sunday afternoon. No cooking was accomplished.
In my feverish, influenza-induced crankypants state, I compiled a list of food-related hates. Sometimes these things make me want to attack things with knives. Please enjoy.
1. I hate food mold. I would rather throw away perfectly good Tupperware than rinse the moldy food out of it.
2. I hate wasabi. No, not even on sushi, so don’t ask.
3. I hate lamb. Rather, I’ve never even eaten lamb because the smell of lamb makes me sick. During Easter one year at my aunt’s I had to duck out to the back porch for air while they were carving the lamb. I would probably like it, but I hate the smell too much.
4. I hate cutting squash. It hurts my hands and I won’t put up with it.
5. I hate celery. But we’ve already discussed this.
6. I hate orange juice with pulp. Under no circumstances will I drink pulpy orange juice. My mom used to buy 2 cartons of OJ for me and my brother. He likes extra pulp. He’s a butthead.
7. I used to hate mushrooms. They’re slowly growing on me (pun intended).
8. I hate stuffed meat. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: stuffing meat is not natural.
9. I hate marshmallows that aren’t burnt. If you don’t burn your marshmallows, I think you’re disgusting. (Just kidding. Kind of.)
10. I hate all flavors of Jell-O except green/lime. There’s no commentary to add here.