mental health day

Today I took a mental health day. I had no particular reason to take it today instead of Saturday, but I used it wisely to run errands, watch plenty of Anthony Bourdain, and pore over cookbooks in bed all afternoon.

Lately I’ve been getting tired of  the boring cooking I’ve been doing… and by that I mean throwing together some pasta with some pasta sauce and calling it a meal. I’ll toot my own horn and say I’m a pretty decent cook, but I’m very limited. I don’t have a big enough repertoire! So, I have a new project.

Today I was inspired by a craving for Cuban food and will bring you one of my favorite Cuban staples: picadillo (fondly known as “Cuban sloppy Joe”)!

Start with the culinary trinity: onions, garlic, and olive oil. Then add salt, pepper, and ground meat (I used turkey since I had it in the freezer).

And now I’ll introduce the other players.

After letting this simmer to become less of a sauce and more of a thick stew, serve any way you want! Or you could even keep it more liquidy and eat it almost as chili! I prefer it as is, on a bun, with tortilla chips, cold, stuffed into empanadas, mixed with cheese in a dip…

Picadillo (makes 4-6 servings)
1 lb ground turkey (or ground beef)
1/2 large onion or 1 medium onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, diced
2 T olive oil (use only 1 if cooking with ground beef)
1-16 oz. can diced or crushed tomato (texture preference)
1 T balsamic vinegar
2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp cinnamon
2/3 cup raisins
1/2 cup slivered almonds (optional, stirred in at end)
salt & pepper
In a stew pot, combine onions, garlic, and olive oil and sautée until tender, salt and pepper to taste. Add in ground turkey and stir occasionally until all the meat is browned and in small chunks. Once meat is browned, half drain a 16 oz can of diced (or crushed) tomato and add to the meat. Stir thoroughly and then add balsamic vinegar, chili powder, cumin, cinnamon, and raisins. Cover and let simmer for at least 20 minutes, longer to achieve a thicker consistency. Add salt and pepper to taste while it simmers, especially if you used canned tomatoes without added salt (like me). Once the picadillo has reached the consistency you like, stir in the almonds (optional) and serve! You can serve it as it is, on a bun like a sloppy Joe, with tortilla chips, in empanadas, with cheese like a dip… the possibilities are endless!!

And did you notice the giant chunk of bread I ate mine with? Yes that’s right, I’ve been baking today, too! This time I’m back with my very own bread recipe, developed from a lot of online research and trawling through cookbooks today.

Buttermilk Wheat Bread (makes 1 loaf)
1 cup warm water
1 packet active yeast
2 T brown sugar
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 tsp salt
2 cups whole wheat flour
2 cups all purpose flour, plus extra for kneading
olive oil spray
In a mixing bowl, combine the sugar, water, and yeast and let the yeast develop until it is foamy and bubbling. Stir in the butter milk and salt. Combine the flours and mix into the wet ingredients, using a mixer with a dough hook or your hands in the same motion (like me!). Once dough is well mixed, transfer to a floured bread board and knead it, forming a bowl. Spray the same mixing bowl with a little olive oil spray then transfer the dough back to the bowl, covering it with a cloth and letting it rise in a warm place for 45 minutes to an hour. Once the dough had adequately risen, punch it back down and knead it on the bread board with flour again. Transfer the dough to a non-stick loaf pan and make a shallow cut all the way down the length of the bread. Bake in a 350* oven for 30-35 minutes and enjoy!

stress induced pizza

As some of you may have heard, there was a shooting on campus here at the University of Texas, where I am currently a graduate student. Thankfully, I am safe and was off campus. In fact, Tuesdays I don’t have class and I was headed to the gym. While waiting at my bus stop and silently complaining about the fact that my bus was 20 minutes late, I got a call from my gym buddy that there had been a shooting and that bus service was frozen. I was supposed to be there already, but I hit snooze a few too many times. Good thing I was lazy, right?! I would have been very, very close to where all the action was.

In fact, all the action was in front of my academic building, just a few feet across the street from the library where everything went down. All the pictures of tanks in front of my office building were unnerving…

(source)

Being from Virginia, shootings hit a little close to home since half of my high school attended Virginia Tech and the news anchors were constantly bringing up that incident today. That, the fact that life in general stresses me out sometimes, and the resulting lack of productivity brought me to calm my nerves the best way I know how: cooking.

I had made some homemade pizza dough the other night and it was about time to take it out of the freezer!

The other night I made my own recipe for pizza dough and it was quite successful. I used a combination of Internet research and the recipe I’ve made with my Aunt Josette (the chef) to create mine. What makes mine different is the use of brown sugar instead of plain white sugar. This really brings out the kind of salty sweet taste I love, very subtly, and since I use my homemade pasta sauce that is sans sugar, it is just the amount of sweetness needed from pizza.

Meredith’s Pizza Dough (makes 1 large crust or 2 medium)
1 cup warm water
1 packet yeast
2 T brown sugar
2 T sea salt
3 cups + extra for dusting/kneading all purpose flour
olive oil
In a mixing bowl, combine warm water, brown sugar, and yeast. Make sure to add the sugar here because it feeds the yeast and helps it bloom! After 5-10 minutes, the yeast should be bubbly and foamy and fully prepped. Add the salt and flour and mix thoroughly. Dust a bread board or the counter with flour and knead the dough thoroughly. In the mixing bowl from earlier, pour in some olive oil and put the dough back in the bowl, rolling it around so it is fully coated with the olive oil. Cover it with a dry towel and let it rise. It should take about an hour to rise and the tell-tale sign of perfectly risen dough is sticking 2 fingers in the middle, about a 1/2 inch deep — if the indentations stay, the dough is ready! Roll it out again on a floured board or divide into 2 balls and freeze. The dough will stay good up for about 2-3 weeks in the freezer. If you choose to use a ball of frozen dough, spray a bowl with olive oil spray and let the dough thaw (2-3 hours) in the bowl before prepping your pizza! I recommend putting your baking sheet or pizza stone in the oven to get hot while the oven preheats and then you should drizzle the sheet with a bit of olive oil. Roll out your dough as much as you can, transfer it to the baking sheet, press it out a little more to form the crust, and quickly top with whatever toppings you like. Having the sheet/stone hot before helps the bottom crisp up and cook more evenly! I also drizzle or spray olive oil on the cheese before putting it in the oven because it helps it crisp up and be bubbly and brown Bake 12-15 minutes at 500* and enjoy!

The best thing about homemade pizza? You control how healthy it is! I use lots of veggies and put the cheese on top in a very thin layer so you get just enough, but not too much! This crust was perfect and crispy, but still soft and delicious! Mmmm!

big sky adventures

It is official: I’m in love with Texas. I know I’ve said “Austin” before, but now it has branched out to the whole state. I’m sure this is a huge overstatement, but I don’t care. I had a magical day.

The day started by a roadtrip to the original Salt Lick , a famous barbecue joint in Driftwood, TX (the original location). I’d seen it on the Food Network and the commercials on TV here would make even a vegetarian salivate. I went with my usual companion, Mary, and we both loved our sliced beef sandwiches and sauce dripping down our arms.

And after our delicious meal, we were on our way out the door when I smiled politely at a cute waiter and asked if I could snap a picture of the world famous meat pit. It is amazing what a smile and a pair of boots gets you around here, because he let me go into the kitchen and go behind the pit for a great picture!

After traipsing around and taking pictures, we took our bbq food babies back on the road and headed further west into Texas Hill Country. On the agenda? WINE!

Our first stop was at Texas Hills Vineyards in Johnson City. They had an adorable cute dog in the tasting room and you knew the wine was made on sight — you could smell the fermenting in the next room (reminding me fondly of my aunt and uncle’s champagne storehouse in France). There we did a 5 wine tasting where we picked the wines, sticking mostly to reds. They have an award winning 2005 Syrah that I highly recommend!

Next up was my favorite, William Chris Vineyards in Hye where we were greeted by the cutest sign ever!

We enjoyed a delicious wine tasting of 3 wines: 2 reds and a dessert white. I was absolutely smitten with the Enchanté, their blend of a merlot, malbec, and a cabernet franc. It was divine! I’m not a merlot fan, but even their merlot was amazing (and Mary liked it a lot, too!) The William of William Chris chatted with us as we tasted and he was so laid back and nice. The whole environment of the tasting was very relaxed and casual, but you still knew the product you were tasting was of great quality (all natural!) and elegant. Even with Bill’s dirt smudged boots and blue bandana, you knew it was a great wine. Perhaps that added to the character of the place?

Our next (and last) stop was Woodrose Winery in Stonewall. The tasting was in a giant dance hall with some love music, compliments of a guitar-strummin’ cowboy. Mary and I had decided on this winery because of a recommendation from a nice couple we met at the first wine tasting, and we ran into them again at Woodrose! They joined our table and let us know that our tasting was on the house because they’re members of the wine club there… also meaning we got a few extra pours, a free cheese plate, and excellent company! We sat there for a good hour and a half, maybe even two hours, and enjoyed great conversation with fun people. I even have slightly modified career aspirations because of our conversations with this couple! The whites were terrible, but the red wines made up for it and we certainly had a lovely time.

We rolled ourselves out of wine country around 5pm and headed back to Austin. Between the wine, the people, the boots, the big blue sky, and the sense that I truly belong in Texas, I’m sold on this place. Does it get any better than this? Today was a perfect Saturday for adventures in Big Sky Country.

an ode to cocoa puffs

Remember a few weeks ago when I wrote about my love for corn tortillas, despite the fact that there are “healthier” options available? Well I’m a firm believer in not making compromises and not apologizing, so here it is: I don’t apologize for loving Cocoa Puffs.

Generic, knock-off, HFCS-free Cocoa Spheres

At least I go for the all natural stuff, right? Right.

As a kid we didn’t have a ton of sugary cereals in the house, but my brother and I did like the occasional bowl of chocolate, sugar-coma inducing cereal for breakfast. And with the generic kind I got at a health food store, this comes with only 10g sugar in a serving. Not terrible.

And when you’re jonesing for chocolate (daily) these are a good way to have a substantial snack and satisfy your sweet tooth. They’re sweet but not too sweet, make you feel like a kid again, and turn the milk into chocolate milk as if by some crazy cereal alchemy magic. I tell you, a bowl of Cocoa Puffs (ahem, “Cocoa Spheres”) is a little bowl of heaven.

So next time you’re in the cereal aisle, don’t feel guilty for wanting the kids stuff. Every so often, there’s no harm in picking up a box of the classics, it is a fun way to shake things up for you AND kill a chocolate craving. Hint: this makes a wonderful mid-afternoon snack or dessert. Just sayin’.

why I write about food

I would like to let you all know something very important about me and very central to who exactly I am: I like food. A lot.

While I don’t always talk about food, I do love it and have had quite the relationship with it.

Food love took me from this,

to this,

and finally to this.

Food has been nourishing, acted as my crutch during some of the most tragic moments of my life, and finally my saving grace when I realized what food could do to change me.

Now I’m finally figuring things out and realizing that there is one common thread in all of this food madness: food makes me happy. And writing makes me happy. Writing about food makes me happy.

I’m from the South where food is central to life. You sit around the table, come together as a family, and share a meal. And while you share that meal, you share love, you share stories, and you share in each other’s lives. While food may physically nourish your body and keep you alive, I can’t help but connect food with nourishing my soul. And let’s be honest, my soul has needed a lot of nourishing.

I don’t know how I would have ever survived the past 2 years of my life if it weren’t for cooking and for food. After I lost my dad, I started to use cooking as therapy. I also started to become healthier because it made me happier. The time I spent reading over recipes and trying to put my feelings into cooking helped me cope. I made food that reminded me of my dad and I used flavors that he would have loved. Instead of letting my grief and depression consume me, I turned it into a positive thing and used it to completely transform myself, body and soul. I will never be the person I was before my dad died, but I don’t think I want to go back to her.

Now I live my life happily and full of passion. I try to make every second count and honor my dad’s memory with my own love of life and exuberance. It reminds me that I can love again and I can find happiness in something even as simple as sautéing onions.

I’m finding happiness again through food. I’m finding myself again through my love of food. I’m finding balance like I’ve never had before. And most of all, I’m enjoying every bite of it.

Thank you for joining me on my journey through food. I hope you are as happy as I feel today

Favorite posts about food:
Inspired Baking
French Food Marathon
Food Coma
Happy Passover!

ooooh, saucy!

I’m back! I feel like I fell off the face of the planet this week and I apologize for the lack of posting. It was just one of those weeks. I had big plans to post this weekend, but then our Internet went out and we haven’t had wireless at the apartment since Friday afternoon. Awesome. And it won’t be fixed until tomorrow most likely.

But I did have a project last night and I did it with you guys in mind!! Remember my last post where I tried my hand at home making bread to save some money? If you forgot, I baked a loaf of bread for $1.67, a fraction of the cost of a loaf at the grocery store. Well I ran out of pasta sauce (practically my favorite staple ingredient) and when I was at the store staring at the wide variety of jars, I realized that I was spending at least $4 on something I could make myself!

Because of some suggestions via Twitter, I now give you my $2.23 homemade pasta sauce! With 8 servings, that is about $0.28 per serving!! (Price obviously depends on the quality and cost of your chosen ingredients, but I tend to buy what is on sale or the best value).

The vegetable base... add some oomph to your sauce!

I got in a fight with our cheap can opener.

Spice things up.

Top mini gnocchi with your homemade sauce and some crumbled goat cheese for a carb fest!

Easy Homemade Pasta Sauce (makes 8 – 1/2 cup servings)
1 28 oz can crushed tomato (get the “with basil” variety for added flavor if you find it!)
2 cups spinach, chopped
1/2 cup mushrooms, chopped
1/2 cup onions, diced
1/4 cup green bell pepper, diced
2 T extra virgin olive oil, divided in 2
1 T balsamic vinegar
1 tsp Italian seasoning
1 tsp garlic powder
1/4 cup water
In a large sauce pan, heat 1 T olive oil and add in mushrooms, onion, and bell pepper. Stir until the onions are tender and translucent then add in the chopped spinach. Once the spinach has wilted, turn the heat to medium low and let simmer while you wrestle with the cheap can opener. Add in the jar of crushed tomatoes along with the water, stirring well to incorporate all the vegetables. Add in 1 T olive oil, the balsamic vinegar, and the spices (feel free to switch it up and add what you like!). Once all ingredients are well incorporated, cover the pot with a lid and turn the heat down to let it simmer. Enjoy a glass of wine while it simmers for about 20-30 minutes. Allow to cool slightly before storing in the refrigerator or enjoy immediately with a big bowl of pasta! Note: You can also freeze this!

What other grocery store staples would you like me to try to make at home to see how much money (if any) can be saved??

inspired baking

Lately, I’ve been inspired to try new things. I think it might be the atmosphere of having just moved to a new state and virtually starting a new life. Or possibly it is all the big blue sky and fresh air I’m breathing in down here deep in the heart of Texas. Either way, I’m definitely okay with all the inspiration!

Based on the great support I got from everyone when I wrote this post, I went forth and prospered by eating meat. I was inspired by your support and wise words — thank you! I won’t get into this again, but final words: I am not denying my body a food it wants and am going to find a healthy, ethical, and environmentally balanced way to incorporate meat in my diet on occasion. So of course I was inspired to start with barbecue brisket. I had to do it.

Got me some famous Texas bbq!

After the barbecue escapades at the famous Austin institution, The Green Mesquite, my friend Mary and I proceeded to galavant all over Austin looking for cowgirl boots. And boy did I find a pair! I decided to be responsible and go back for them when I get my first paycheck for being a TA, so in less than a month they will be mine!

Then this morning, to celebrate Labor Day, my friend Andy joined Mary and I for a tubing adventure on the San Marcos River. I felt inspired to get back in touch with nature. I haven’t been on the water in a while! It was so peaceful out on the water, helped along by the beers we brought along in our floating bag, and the weather was hot and blue skied until the very end when it started to rain.

My feet + Mary

After a lunch at a river-side pub and a sleepy drive home, I showered off the mud and took a lovely nap. Upon waking I started to hatch my next inspired, money-saving plan.

Bread. Yes, I am baking bread. I used up my last slice today and I started thinking that a decent loaf of wheat bread at the grocery store runs about $3.50 or more. There has to be a cheaper way! So Mary and I went to Whole Foods and bought the necessary supplies I was lacking.

I could have sworn I had packed a loaf pan when I moved, but sadly I seem to have been mistaken. But I wouldn’t let that stop me! I was inspired by my Aunt Joelle who made bread on a sheet pan every day while I visited my family in France (part 1, part 2, part 3, and part 4). She made amazing bread without a loaf pan, so why can’t I?

Before: a lump of sticky dough.

While the bread baked, Mary helped me load all the ingredients onto the Sense to Save Recipe Cost Calculator and it turns out my entire loaf costs $1.67 and I have plenty of supplies for more. I love this! I’m so glad inspiration struck me to save a little money! The baking supplies were an “investment” up front but they’ll last a while and I can feel good about the bread knowing it has wholesome, whole ingredients in it.

After: wholesome carby goodness!!

I’m definitely going to be looking up more bread recipes online, but I used this simple one and I think I’ll be keeping it around!

thoughts on denial

I am in the middle of an existential food crisis.

Well, maybe it isn’t that dire, but I need your help and honest opinions.

Lately I’ve been having thoughts regarding vegetarianism and denial. Having grown up in the South, I am a huge fan of barbecue, cookouts, fried chicken, and all that other good stuff. I grew up on the Chesapeake Bay and I love crabbing and shellfish. But, if you’ve been reading me for any time you’ll know that in February I wafted back into vegetarianism. I had been a vegetarian for several years and into my first year of college but then slowly started allowing meat back into my diet. Of course, I was doing it the wrong way and, combined with many emotional stressors and other issues in my life, I got very unhealthy. But I can’t help but think that there has to be a healthy way to have meat in your life.

I made an informed decision when becoming a vegetarian. I researched the issues and the choices. I struggled with the label, and I still do. I hate to pidgeon-hole myself into anything, and labeling myself as a “vegetarian” just isn’t working any more. I want to live a label-less life and find my own way to eat! I am able to cook for myself, find good restaurants, and adapt in meat-heavy situations. But once again, I can’t help but think that there has to be a healthy way to have meat in your life.

Which brings me to the issue of denial. One of my food philosophy principles that I hold myself to is “Never deny yourself a food you want.” I think denial is very unhealthy and this only creates more food issues. But aren’t I technically denying myself meat when, even as a vegetarian, I have cravings for my G’ma’s ham biscuits or one of my Aunt Josette’s hamburgers? I am still denying myself a food and having an unhealthy relationship with it.

While I still am convinced that a diet based primarily in vegetables and natural foods is the best for me, is there harm in eating meat occasionally? I have grown to love vegetarian alternatives like vegan sausage, Boca burgers, and tofu. And I know that I like how these foods make me feel so I will continue eating them. So I’m thinking that staying primarily vegetable-based while allowing myself some meat when I want it is okay.

Don't we all just want to enjoy life and love food?

When people ask me why I’m a vegetarian, I always say, “For my health, for the environment, and for the animals.” All of these are true and I still feel passionately about them. Choosing a primarily plant-based diet still helps my health, the environment, and the animals. After living in Austin for a month, I am convinced there’s a way to stay healthy and active and still incorporate meat on occasion. As for the environment, I think that any contribution matters. I drive a Prius, I try to recycle, and I use reusable shopping bags. By limiting my meat intake, instead of denying myself meat, I think I can still make a positive impact on the environment. And as for the animals, I think choosing to be meatless most days still makes a positive impact and it means I am making a contribution. I will do my best to find the most ethical, naturally raised meat I can and in doing that, I will support local farmers. I can guarantee I’m not going to go to McDonalds for a burger, but if the craving strikes I will do my best to find grass-fed beef from a local supplier I can feel good about. I’m not perfect and neither are my food choices, but my philosophy of “Do the best you can where you can” applies to this situation.

And at the end of the day, don’t I just want to feel good about my choices? I don’t want to be a hypocrite, but I’m afraid the vegetarian community will shun me. I still have all the sample principles as before, but I think that absolutely, flat-out denying myself something I truly like is doing more harm than good. I want to find a healthy way to enjoy the foods I crave, like barbecue, and still be healthy and enjoy a mostly plant-based diet. I want to shed the label of being a “vegetarian” or even a “flexitarian”. I want to find a way to be happy and healthy and not deny myself anything.

What I want out of life: a smile on my face like this with no regrets about anything.

I’m just so… torn. I feel like I’m making a good decision, but I am still unsure. I just want to have a healthy, happy life and if a happy life includes the occasional bbq spare rib, I might be okay with that.

an ode to corn tortillas

There are many foods that I love. But there are a few foods that transcend the usual love I have for food and are in an entirely new plane of food awareness. And today I am going to discuss one of those foods: the corn tortilla.

Now the corn tortilla is normally an afterthought, used to contain the cheesy goodness of a quesadilla or as a vessel to transport the spiced potato and onion of a breakfast taco. But I would like to bring some more awareness to this often overlooked and purely delicious source of carbohydrates.

Quesadilla nirvana comes from the corn tortilla

The summer I lived in Mexico, my house mom would buy fresh tortillas every day from the market down the street and I was addicted. Since getting back from Mexico (over 2 years ago!) I have been continuously disappointed by the tortillas in the US. Until now.

I should have known that my local grocer here in Austin would not disappoint when it came to tortillas. I mean, they have nopales (cactus), tunas (cactus pears), horchata, agua fresca and other delicious Mexican treats that are just too far from Virginia. But now that I’m only 4 hours from my beloved Mexico, I have access to it all! The sheer size of the tortilla aisle is mind boggling and the smell is absolutely intoxicating. I tried the whole wheat flour variety, which were good, but for $2.68 you got 10 tortillas. I switched to the corn this time and got 30 for $1.50. I’m no genius, but hello money saver!

Corn tortillas taste better and, when warmed a bit, hold up better to food inside them. They are chewier, tastier, and the ones at my store aren’t made with lard. I’m fully aware that corn isn’t a “whole grain” and that the whole wheat flour tortilla variety would be better for me. But there are some foods that I’m not willing to cut corners with. I figure I eat healthy enough most of the time, I can risk a few calories and some starch intake with corn tortillas. They are just worth it!

Is there a food that you absolutely love and refuse to compromise with? What food do you prefer in the real form and not the healthier version?

perfecting an imperfection

I’m not perfect. Nor will I ever be. Though I may, jokingly, claim that I am “the perfect woman” or that I’m perfect for some job or role, I am actually imperfect. And that is okay.

I’m imperfect because, as I mentioned in this post , I burn toast, trip often, and hate wearing socks. In fact, I’m so imperfect that in the process of typing this post, I somehow managed to hit my head on the metal cabinet above my desk in the grad student workspace, making a lot of noise and attracting attention. I sweat a lot, I get cotton mouth when I’m nervous, and I don’t always eat right. I have a hard time letting things go and I sometimes put all my proverbial eggs in one basket. Also, I decided to quit my half marathon training.

If quitting makes you imperfect, then I can deal with that. I chose to stop training because my knee injury isn’t healing fast enough. It is healing and I can run again, but I lost a lot of endurance in my down time and I just don’t want to push it hard and give myself more problems. I also stopped because, while I lose $125 in the race entry fee (the Nike Women’s (Half) Marathon), I won’t lose $400 flying to San Francisco, staying in a hotel, eating out, and then being disappointed because I had to walk half the race with a knee injury. My friend Mary who was running it with me is of the same state of mind, so we both decided that, while we are disappointed at missing the opportunity, more will come and it is the more responsible decision in the end.

Since I have no big races to train for anymore but maybe a 5k on the horizon, I’m slowly working on building up my endurance and really enjoying running again. I’m not looking at distance or speed but just running and walking when I see fit. I love this! But I do need some kind of goal to work towards so I’ve devised a clever scheme to deal with some other “imperfections”.

I want to tone up and feel better about my imperfect body. This body will never be perfect, and I’m okay with that, but I think a weight training regimen will be something I can work on with a goal in mind and still be able to change something about me that I think can be perfected. And perfected does not imply perfect.

It is pretty simple but I have a basic calendar:

From my days of lifting weights with my club and high school swim teams, I know some basic moves that really help. I know how to use most of the machines, safely, and also some hand weight moves. I am going to use both the gym and exercise videos with a resistance band and an abs ball to accomplish all these exercises and make sure I rest, stretch, and don’t burn out. If you have links to workouts or recommendations for videos, let me know! I think that I might also look into personal training, if they have it at UT for students, and consider investing in a session or 2 to really help me out.

Suggestions and ideas are, as always, welcome! I’m not trying to be perfect, because that will never happen, but I am going to do my best to work on an imperfection that I see in myself and feel better about it.

That said, I’m off to find my tickets to the gun show.