Today has been a day of very mixed emotions… I hate days like this.
I slept pretty horribly last night and woke up with my headache still present. I let my lack of sleep get the best of me and bypass my better judgement with this pre-workout snack:
1 Hamentashen with 1 tsp of natural pear butter
In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t the WORST, but I try to avoid refined sugar, especially early in the day. The pear butter is only natural sugar from the fruit and only 20 calories/tbsp, so I’m not sweating that. But the “cookie” for lack of a better word was probably not the best choice I could have made.
I got to the gym and knew I didn’t have much time since I went to the Y that is further from work and that I would have to leave earlier. Also, I had the dog in the car and even though Mona assured me she’d be fine for under 2 hours, I felt bad leaving those sad eyes. So I did 40 minutes in the pool. Not much to report back on that. At least I got some physical activity. When I left the gym, I had a sleepy puppy waiting with kisses to make me feel better!
Sophie!
The reason I had to take her to the gym with me before work is because Mona and Jeff had to get out of the house earlier than usual for court and the construction noise bothers the princess. Also, Mona wouldn’t be coming into the office at all, so I was in charge of taking her. Since the bathroom is STILL not done, she came with me this morning 
At work, I had some yogurt with the granola I had packed as a snack yesterday and ended up not needing.
3/4 cup low fat, plain yogurt; 1/4 cup naturally sweetened granola, 5 TJ's dark chocolate edamame, 3 slices dried kiwi
I started giving myself a pep talk for this week. I have been evaluating a lot of things in my life, diet/exercise related and not, and I was trying to get everything together in my head. I still have some weight I want to lose, and I know I either have to bump up the exercise or eat less to reach that goal, so the answer is obvious. I like food too much to do the latter! But, mentally, building up my physical activity is hard. But I have so many goals I want to reach! So I was feeling a little better when lunch rolled around.
1/2 red bell pepper; 1 apple; 2 slices multigrain bread with 1 tbsp Sunbutter and 2 tsp natural pear butter.
The sandwich was a nice throwback to the PB&J days of my youth. It is a calorie dense meal, but filled with complex carbs, good fat, and protein to keep me full. Which it did!
A little while after lunch, I got some bad news via email. I won’t go into details, but I was very upset and took Sophie on a walk to clear my head. I then gave into my emotional eating, even though I wasn’t hungry, and pulled out my snack. The bar was so-so and the clementine was awful so I didn’t eat it. I shouldn’t have finished the bar, but I was eating for comfort (always a bad idea, I know).
Kashi TLC Pumpkin Spice and Flax bar; 1 clementine (which I didn't eat)
By the time I got home, I was still upset about everything and resorted to cheese and bread again. Typical. At least it was a multigrain bread and it was gourmet cheese. That makes it better, right????
End of a multigrain baguette with 1 oz goat cheese and 1/2 oz sheep's milk bleu cheese
So now I am trying to concentrate on choosing my attitude. This makes a huge difference. I could get even more upset about the day and continue to eat badly and make poor decisions or I could make decisions that are best for me and my body and get myself back on track. So I am putting a smile on my face and getting back to my usual attitude towards everything. It is a slow, slow process trying to change one’s relationship with food, and there are always speed bumps along the way. I guess most of today was just one of those? I really didn’t eat TERRIBLY (I could have gotten something greasy or sugary!) but I hate the guilty feeling that goes along with comfort eating. Ugh. Not comforting at all when all is said and done.
Choosing my attitude and changing my outlook on today!!! Dinner will be awesome (when I figure out what it is).
