body image

Oh I had an early morning! I woke up an hour earlier than usual, which would have been fine if I had fallen asleep on time. But no, even the melatonin didn’t even work. And I think I know why. Before bed I was packing up my stuff for the gym, etc. and getting organized and I started having a body image crisis. I try not to “fat talk” myself and really try to feel good about myself, but some days not even Operation Beautiful works. I kept myself up last night because I was upset about what I look like. Some days I can’t forget the way I used to look 70 lbs ago and I still don’t like how I look now, which is a huge improvement from before. But there are days when I feel ugly, fat, and like a failure. And I can’t believe I wasted sleep on this last night! But it put me in a funk, of course. I woke up tired, sluggish, and still feeling down.

Ate a snack, pre-gym:

1/2 banana with 1/2 tbsp natural PB

When I got to the gym, I absolutely did not want to do my planned 4 mile run, so I got on the stair stepper, which I HATE. I don’t know what possessed me to do this. But, not surprisingly, I hated it and didn’t even break a sweat in 15 minutes. By this point I was more awake and feeling better about life (endorphins!) so I saw a cute boy and an empty treadmill conveniently next to him! What was I supposed to do? So I ran a nicely paced mile and called my workout quits to get ready for my morning. I ate my breakfast in the car while commuting over to the court house complex.

2 clementines; 1 piece multigrain bread with 1/2 tbsp Sunbutter and 1 tbsp pear butter

Clearly I’m on a fruit kick this morning!

Got out to the complex and found my way to the substitute teacher orientation. I am happy to report that, after 4 of the most boring and pointless hours of my life, I am a “Guest Teacher” (not substitute, we have fancy names!) for Va Beach! Oh but I have to wait 1-2 weeks for an “approval letter” to come by mail (even though, technically, we’re approved once we complete the orientation). So I turned in my application the 2nd week of January and I still have to wait 1-2 weeks before I can start working. How absurd! But the orientation was painfully dull and full of college students/recent grads (like yours truly) and middle aged stay-at-home moms who were bored. It was a weird dynamic. And seriously, these middle aged women asked SO MANY STUPID QUESTIONS. Now, “there is no such thing as a stupid question” but I’m sorry — if the question has been answered once or twice before, don’t ask again! LISTEN! Rant over. I ate this snack during our break at 11am:

1/4 cup Bare Naked Fit almond vanilla granola (its all gone now!), 4 slices dried kiwi, 5 TJ's dark chocolate edamame

Came home to make myself a yummy lunch, moving on to get some veggies and beans in my diet.

The before picture: 2 small TJ's whole wheat & flax seed tortillas, 1 Laughing Cow Original Light wedge, 1/4 cup black beans, a handful alfalfa sprouts

And after: YUMMY! Should have drained the beans a bit more, though...

And some pumpkin yogurt!

1/2 cup low fat, plain yogurt, 1/2 cup canned pumpkin, 1 tsp agave nectar, cinnamon, nutmeg

Tastes like cold pumpkin pie in a bowl. What could be better??

I am certainly not a low-carb zombie, but I feel like I’ve eaten a lot of carbs lately. Pasta twice this weekend, bread on my black bean burger last night, and this morning at breakfast. BUT, the TJ’s tortillas are low-carb (picked up accidentally, but joyfully) and I’m enjoying them. They’re awesome and make me feel a little better about my intake. Some days you just need a piece of bread :) At least they’re whole wheat carbs!!

The construction noises from my bathroom renovation were too much to take so I am taking refuge in Panera. I was going to go into the office this afternoon post-orientation, but they’re having a slow day and said to not bother. Therefore, afternoon free! If only I had friends in Va Beach… so instead I settle for people watching and blogging at Panera. To compensate for the free WiFi I’m using, I got myself a treat: a soy latte!! I wish they had sizes, though. This is huge!

1 Panera Soy Latte

Toodles, bloggies! I’ll be back later!

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